sample of college admission essay

sample of college admission essay

College Admission Essay: Standing Out from the Crowd

1. Introduction

It is time to write more application essays for college. You would think with the time and effort that goes into an essay that the college student would actually be able to write an essay. The sad truth is that college admissions officers will rarely, if ever, have enough time to look through an essay that is more than a page. With that said, the essays do not need to be the “end all and be all” of who that student is. They are simply another step in the process of being accepted or denied to a university. So what exactly makes a good college essay? Gone are the days where a set formula to a good essay was. Now it seems the style that fits the student is what works best. More importantly, what the essay can do for a student is give the trend of acceptance to their favor. A good way to crack down what the college admissions officers are looking for is to “Market Yourself.” Imagine you are a brand trying to sell yourself to a target consumer. This is exactly what needs to be happening in an essay. No matter the topic, the essay needs to be a reflection of the student and his or her interests, values, and thought process. On a more professional note, the essay enables students to differentiate themselves from other applicants. Gone are the days where we see all students having the same extracurricular activities, the same set of grades, and owning the same few teachers. Now it is time to stand out from the crowd, and a good way to start is with an essay.

2. Personal Background and Achievements

How does this correlate to my achievements, you may wonder? The glares about my intentions become easier to understand. Throughout my high school career, I have had a running start to receive the best work ethic possible, and even now I do not intend to let it wither away. I have made a selection of joining Army JROTC to not only further my discipline but to support my family in the long run. I would like to become a US Army Officer, and JROTC has been one of the best pathways that will mentor me in the right direction, not only in responsibilities but in life. I have achieved numerous awards in drill and marksmanship, but none as fulfilling as taking 1st place in Raidelette Physical Fitness, as it showed that my dedication to staying in shape was not a waste of time. In turn, my successes in Raidelettes qualified me to compete in the all-expense-paid JLAB (Junior Leadership and Academic Bowl) in Washington D.C. This was an eye-opening experience as I have managed to meet other intelligent cadets from all across the states. I am currently in my senior year and serving to become a high-ranking officer, taking any chances available to volunteer in my community. Although it may seem I am well off, I have my own battles in getting where I am today. I have faced an abundance of racial teasing and discrimination due to past world events, leading to multiple physical altercations which called for the aid of self-defense in a couple of instances. Self-defense led into Mixed Martial Arts and has provided an alternative to release any stress and improve my overall physical fitness. I have accomplished an 8-2 fight record, 2 title belts, and two 1st place victories in wrestling. This self-satisfaction has again proven to be fulfilling, but not as much as my crowning moment last year. After weeks of contemplating a break from MMA and returning to help the family, a school teacher spoke to me about an opportunity for a college scholarship. While it was appealing, I had neglected it until she mentioned that I would be the first in my family to further educate and lead my siblings into a better future. This ideal has struck me dearly, and I have focused my sights straight ahead, taking that opportunity and placing 1st in an essay to win back the chance for my family’s betterment. Two state placements in Academic Decathlon and a selection for the University of California Riverside has only solidified my intentions for my future achievements. With a blend of the past and present, a strive to assist and empower, my goal is not only to lead my family out of these hard times but to provide hope for those in similar situations. These are my personal background and achievements, and this is the reason why I intend to major in political science for the betterment of international relations.

It was not uncommon to have meetings in my household where an elder is left in tears due to the effects of a war they encountered in their home country. I would sit and listen to their stories, and these experiences have become the foundation for my passion in assisting and empowering those in need. While I have always tried to put my best foot forward, I have found this to be quite challenging considering my family’s financial status. With both of my parents out of work, I was forced to take on the role of providing for the family by working a part-time job. As a freshman, I managed to work at two jobs while maintaining above a 3.5 GPA. Although it may seem lower than the average student, I was proud to have made it that far due to my incoming high school ranking.

3. Passion and Future Goals

I have been passionate about what I want to do since I was a freshman in high school. An excerpt from one of my journals outlines my desire to create: “March 20th, 2002… I had an interesting dream that re-sparked my interest in the animated business. I realized something through that dream; I didn’t necessarily want to animate, I wanted to create. And through that creation, bring happiness to the world through viewing my creation.” I believe my passion lies not only in creating, but creating for others. I am most content when I am creating and fulfilling my imagination and if it can bring joy to others, that is the utmost of personal success. I have a clear idea of what I want to do in the future, and the type of study it will require. I am eager to begin at a university, studying a double major of art and animation. Through this major course of study, I will learn all that is necessary to bring my creations to life and present them in a way that everyone can understand and enjoy. By being a student of this course I will become more versatile and in touch with my skills. I not only plan on learning through the provided courses, but also through personal trial and error and learning through others. On my off time I will do sketches and rough storyboards from any and every idea I can muster. Though college will teach me valuable directional skills, much of the studies are based around animating on the computer, I plan to develop many such skills beforehand and be well prepared for any more advanced techniques. At the end of my studies, a near definite path is to create and direct my own series of animations. With my education I hope to break into the industry and get up and going on a good foot, and possibly even bypass some initial artist positions and create my own small works. I am interested in calling it an apprenticeship; I would hope and seek a mentor, someone with years of professional experience, who could guide me in building my series. This would likely take me out of learning and into the workforce, and while it would be a risky jump with partial knowledge, valuable experience is to be had and my mentor could advise me through any changes in the education I had received. Finally, having enough experience under my belt, I would take to creating my series with quality such that at its completion, it would be a renowned work and I might even be compared to the mentored teachings of older professionals.

4. Extracurricular Activities and Leadership Experience

Possessing and conveying a life-changing idea, the President of the World can display to the viewer what it takes to be a true born leader. From class projects such as creating the Black Awareness Club and Latin American Student Organization in which I was appointed President, to interning as a Congressional Page in Washington D.C., and my recent employment at Banana Republic, one which seems as a mere occupation selling clothing, these experiences have created a solid foundation for which I can exhibit leadership. In addition to my employment I have had vast experience in technology and artifact. I am Tech Coordinator for the Black Awareness Club, LATSO, and have been a computer consultant for Administration, Teachers, and fellow students, helping to troubleshoot and solve technical problems at school. My vast experience with computer technology that spans over six years, from building and maintaining my own computer, to repairing computers and installing software and hardware for family and friends, is tied into my recent career choice. Becoming frustrated with my own and others clothes and not being able to find elective attire and an affordable price, I am looking to create my own merchandise and find a position in a company that specializes in technology relevant to fashion or artifact design. This small project of mine involves my own private research on building a small computer network and research in programming software. My most telling experience in leadership rotates around the job of a Page in which only one person obtains from each state. This prestigious position showed me the inner workings of the Federal Government and gave me first-hand experience in politics and law. This was an extensive test that I could sore to the top, and truly make a mark. The Political Science class at my school would benefit greatly from my experience as I convey real-life examples and create noticeable interest in the subject for the students. A key example of extracurricular learning can be derived from the PACE Engineering Program at the University of Purdue in which I have been enrolled for the past two years. This is a high-level college taught class that involves the creation of effective problem-solution through engineering design using actual college students as our resources. High Praise. Running through these somewhat extraordinary events is a common line. I wanted to do something, and make a difference that would affect not only myself but others around me. My leadership would encourage others to take part and make the most of their situation and I believe have a hidden effect on teacher that had not seen a student truly apply themselves to a project or task.

5. Conclusion: Why I Belong at [College Name]

These considerations have brought me to think that small liberal arts colleges are my best choice, as some of these colleges offer phenomenal computer science programs. The one in particular that has caught my eye is Harvey Mudd College. This small college located in Claremont, California has less than 800 students and is dedicated exclusively to the fields of science, engineering, and mathematics. I do not believe I could find a better environment for the study of computer science. The college has a close-knit community and a student-to-faculty ratio of 8:1. This means I will be able to form strong relationships with my professors in a similar environment to the one I created with my high school teachers. Through appreciation of faculty and staff’s effort into the instruction, I believe I can get administrative positions during my junior and senior year in information technology at the college to try and give something back to the people who worked so hard to teach me. Given that it is in California, it is likely that there are opportunities for internships in software development. This would give me some good experience to see if this career path is really the one I wish to take. I believe that given my goals, it is nothing short of an ideal situation for a computer science student.

On top of the prior complex pollen advert I have been given, I am assuming I will not generate the code for this college until I have been admitted. With this in mind, I will address the suggested college rather than the specific one. My dream is to attend a school that has a strong computer science program. I am seeking a college where I can form strong relationships with my professors and get involved with department research. It would be ideal if the college is within the proximity of an urban area given my interest in software development from a professional standpoint and video game development from an entertainment standpoint. Ideally, the college is not a large one. While a large university is a fun and exciting place, I much prefer an environment in which I can really get to know people. I have lived in a suburban area for my entire life. I know that I do not want to attend university in a similar environment. So in summary, the college that best accommodates my needs is a small urban university with a strong focus on computer science.

Guideline 1: Your tone should be passionate and should persuade the admission committee why you should belong at the college of your choice. Guideline 2: Exclude the topic, these comments, and do not count as part of your 1800. Guideline 3: Focusing on delivering information rather than the concept or process will help in the persuasion of why you should belong at the college. Guideline 4: When you enhance text complexity and reduce predictability, it is likely that the essay will also stand out to you. Guideline 5: If you follow the previous guidelines and this one, your conclusion will also be a summary of your points, so they will reflect the key ideas in your essay.