couples therapy homework assignments

couples therapy homework assignments

Effective Couples Therapy Homework Assignments: Enhancing Communication and Connection

1. Introduction to Couples Therapy Homework Assignments

Relationship therapists often offer couples homework assignments in line with the goals of the therapy, as well as the therapists’ theoretical orientation. Couples therapy homework is an essential aspect of the therapy and can significantly enhance therapy’s success. Homework reinforces the learning points of the therapy, keeps couples on track between sessions, increases compliance with the therapy, and fosters experiences that can be explored in therapy. Couples therapy homework can enhance the couple’s working alliance with the therapist. This can occur in a different way than individual homework might enhance the alliance with an individual therapist. Homework can be challenging for therapists to expect or assign if there is little or no therapeutic alliance. There are times and clients for whom trying to create the alliance would be counterproductive or harmful. With a strong alliance between the clients and the therapist, the clients will be more likely to “buy into” the homework and to participate voluntarily. Ideally, associated values and goals guide this purchase.

2. Theoretical Frameworks and Principles

Couples therapy researchers and practitioners have described a variety of theoretical models, principles, and techniques that help facilitate improvement within couple relationships. Many of these theoretical models have explored the ways in which individuals might learn and grow within a new, shared identity. This field attempts to find empathic understanding between partners and, in Gottman’s words, be “masters instead of martyrs.” Key principles for this process include building friendship, exploring, confiding, expressing appreciation, and influencing each other. Interventions that enable these principles, especially within a context of emotional and physical closeness, and that address negative patterns in communication, problem-solving, and conflict resolution such as criticism, defensiveness, contempt, belligerence, or violence, can help couples repair, rebuild, and sustain their relationship.

The development and maintenance of the couple relationship requires deliberate effort and intentionality, much like a friendship. Within this construct, interventions that build commitment and meaning-making, create rituals of connection, appreciate the unique aspects of each person, and explore life dreams and adventures can create energy, hope, and resilience, even under stress or oppression.

Dyadic intimate relationships are complex, involving reciprocal influence, importance, dependence, attention, and care. Intimacy is defined differently by different people. For example, it may be experienced as emotional, physical, and/or spiritual closeness, may involve both conversation and shared activity, substantial self-disclosure, and physical and emotional safety, and often develops gradually as the depth, vulnerability, and true self of one partner is revealed, acknowledged, and valued by the other partner, thus placing intimacy at risk.

3. Types of Homework Assignments in Couples Therapy

Practitioners using homework in couples therapy have an abundance of options. These options encompass a variety of ways to enhance specific outcomes within the couple therapy process. Homework can be used to either address a discrete problem common to a majority of couples who present for therapy (i.e. improving communication while on different work schedules) or to help the couple transcend their difficulties when no actual “problem” is evident. In both cases, homework can be an active, directive part of the change process, or it can be a passive, broadening, maintaining, or stabilizing part of the change process. While we use the term homework to represent a particular treatment technique, its essence conveys a highly focused aspect to the treatment process. The homework assignment should target a particular problem or issue of concern to the couple, and in doing so, it should create a context for the process of dialoguing and intimacy.

We have found that there are seven types of homework that are particularly effective in producing change in the couple relationship. These include clarity-seeking exercises, paradoxical homework assignments, reverse psychology homework assignments, spillover homework assignments, empathic validation, cognitive hardiness building, and self-expansion homework assignments. Each of these homework suggestions is explained and illustrated with selected case examples. All of these approaches can be used in couples treatment regardless of theoretical orientation. The basic criteria in selecting a particular type of homework assignment is clear conceptualization of the nature of the couple problem and what needs to change in the couple relationship, a determination about a homework assignment is a suitable tool for accomplishing the therapeutic task.

4. Implementing and Customizing Homework Assignments

Effectively designed homework assignments can enhance the communication and connection between partners in couples therapy. In the preponderance of cases, involving homework as part of healing love relationships can provide companionship and guidance to the psychoeducational and experiential processes that have been shown in recent years to be the best techniques in the armamentarium of couples therapy. The suggestions in this article address important differences, including those between couples at different relational stages, their individual characteristics, and therapeutic approaches to treatment. Not all of these examples will be useful or desirable for all couples seeking therapy. Customizing homework will help make it highly desirable and useful for motivated couples open to change.

Homework assignments should be viewed as an essential part of couples therapy; involvement in homework should be encouraged, characterized by high compliance, and thoughtfully structured to enhance therapy. Structuring does not mean rigidity. Well-designed homework fosters and encourages self-exploration and change in the partners’ relationship. Homework, rooted in mutual respect, trust, and caring, is the lifeblood of couple enhancement. Couples benefit from being involved in their own therapy. Providing “expert advice and specialized techniques” helps couples move in positive directions and enables them to work more effectively with their therapists. While homework does not cause change directly, it does help initiate and sustain new behavior patterns. It can also be a means of assessing couples’ progress together. The volume provides effective homework designed not only to help partners initiate and sustain new patterns of interaction but also to be supportive, caring, and thoughtful with mutual respect toward each other. This article builds on contemporary cognitive-behavioral and systemic models of therapy to generate the most effective, close systemic, brief, and incisive process directives. Tailoring a wide variety of homework to fit the particular strengths, role, and situational demands, as well as the idiosyncratic needs of each unique couple, will help create a more successful therapy outcome.

5. Evaluating the Efficacy of Couples Therapy Homework Assignments

Over the years, research has supported the effectiveness of homework assignments in various types of psychotherapy, likely due to the fact that homework keeps client growth moving during the intervals between therapy sessions and often enhances and intensifies learning both within and outside the therapy room. Surprisingly, though there is research to show that psychotherapy is effective, there has been far less focus on evaluating the actual interventions utilized in psychotherapy to decide whether the interventions are generating therapeutic change. Moreover, whether or not that change is relationship-enhancing in couple therapy is even less supported by empirical inquiry. Consequently, nothing is currently known about which specific types of homework assignments are most efficacious in spurring emotional and relational improvements for couple clients.

To help fill this gap, the authors empirically examined the effectiveness of a sample of commonly used homework assignments in improving couples’ romantic relationships. Specifically, common types of couples’ homework assignments were identified and introduced (in a previous volume in this series of couple therapy handbooks), created by alliance guidance across different types of couples therapy. These textbook tasks reflect a significant subset of the typical bibliotherapeutic recommendations, predominantly designed to help with the typical symptomatic complaints heard in couple therapy (e.g. infidelity, sexual dysfunction, behavior management). The couples therapies were found to be successful, but the mechanism of success has not been empirically studied. Data with respect to whether a couple is using these types of assignments or whether their efficacy is assumed are not broadly available.