college admission essay samples

college admission essay samples

College Admission Essay Samples

1. Introduction

Many studies have shown that high school performance is an excellent predictor of college performance. This fact is further supported by reports on dropout rates that calculate 8% of students who begin college drop out in the first year, 44% never graduate, and among those that do graduate, another 10% complete college but have low academic achievement. It is our belief that the best indicator of future success is past success, and although college admission officers may claim that the application essay is optional and that they use it mainly to judge character, many studies have shown that there is a direct correlation between how a student performs on his SATs, his overall high school grade point average, and success in his application essay. It is also a known fact that those who exhibit the best academic achievements and test scores tend to gain acceptance into the more elite four-year colleges. We believe that the college admission process is an unfair one. Studies have found that the three best tools for predicting college academic success are a student’s high school record, SAT scores, and high school grades. And without a doubt, these are the three critical factors in determining a student’s admission into a particular college or university. So students who have achieved the most in their pre-collegiate academic career are given the most opportunities to attend the best universities. So while this is no doubt beneficial for the universities who are looking to build the best possible academic community, it becomes a great disadvantage for those students who dream of one day attending medical school or law school.

2. Importance of College Admission Essays

College admission essays form an important part of a student’s college application and are required by most schools. A college admission essay is an opportunity for students to demonstrate an admission committee that they are more than just grades. It is a student’s only opportunity to convey what the student thinks about life and the activities they participate in. Students often wonder what the admission board looks for in a college admission essay. Although there are no comments or direct questions, the board hopes to gain insight into who the student is as a person, what distinguishes him or her from others, and what exactly makes him or her interesting and a good fit for the university. Students should see the essay as an opportunity to paint a picture of themselves. The essay should reflect their voice and perspective, and show who they really are, not who they want to be perceived as. An honest and well-written essay can strengthen the application and make the difference between acceptance and rejection. On the other hand, a poor essay, written solely to meet the minimum word or page requirement, can be damaging to an application. It may leave a bad impression and lead the admission board to believe the student to be lazy, not bright, or unable to form coherent thoughts. Who the student is, is on paper and paper is all the board has to judge by.

3. Analyzing Successful Admission Essays

The first preference is quite weak, largely because of its generalities and lack of concrete detail. For instance, in the first paragraph, the student writes about how his grandmother was an “amazing” person. However, he never explains why she was amazing; he just generalizes from her influence on his mother and moves on to the next point. The essay is filled with these generalizations and little supporting detail, which is not an effective way to lead to a conclusion. He also was inconsistent in his discussion of the mother’s internal disagreements about her upbringing, often quickly skipping over to a related, but different point about how his grandmother raised his mother, and thus ultimately how she raised him. This inconsistency detracts from the essay’s progression and thrust. He also has a general, repetitive statement about how he has such an “amazing opportunity” to change his bloodline. He says this or similar things several times with little proof and no further explanation, which is only an attempt at ornamentation and overstates the importance of the scholarship to his central theme. Overall, the essay is simply a list of his potential opinions, and lacks the training and analysis that comes from true disagreement and internal conflict. This makes for a more superficial pondering of the issues at hand, moving from one to the next in a mechanical way.

The last preference is stronger because it has the most potential to create a more interesting and readable essay. It has a clear focus and avoids generalities. The essay is also very well-organized. Each paragraph directly relates to the thesis, and each one does so with a good deal of supporting detail. The introduction and conclusion are very effective in their clear statements about the theme of the essay, and in summaries of the content of the supporting paragraphs. In addition, the conclusion ends with a punchy quotation that ties back to the introduction. This bidirectional progression through the essay is very important in creating essays that are clear and logical.

4. Common Mistakes to Avoid

Another mistake, according to Josh Stephens, Director of International Admissions at the University of Richmond, “is to make an essay so unique that the reader can’t understand who the applicant really is.” These days, with 17-year-olds doing everything from farming to building robots, it is easy to get lost in trying to show how different you are. But if admissions officers can’t figure out what you’re doing now, how can they predict if you will succeed in college?

One common mistake students make is to be so concerned with deciding what colleges are looking for that they forget to look inside themselves and put that on the application. Students often write nothing more than a summary of their resume – which is not the point of the exercise. A good essay is reflective, not self-promotional.

Having helped thousands of students answer this question, I thought it would help to start with some common mistakes that students make in their application essays. Obviously, an application that answers a prompt and does a good job of showing an aspiring student’s true colors will help. However, there is much more to success than that.

5. Conclusion

The level of care and attention to detail in these essays is a testament to the authors’ excitement and commitment to studies in their chosen fields. The essays are interesting and thought-provoking. Each author reveals clear comprehension of why they wish to pursue education in their field of choice, and the direction they hope their studies will take them. Beyond the expected academics, each essay is rich with various extracurricular activities ranging from work, to sport, to a wide variety of musical experiences. Each writer has resoundingly verified the broad range of his/her interests, and the depth of their commitment to particular areas of each field. A mix of ambition, academic curiosity, and self-discipline are clearly in evidence in each case, and these are the qualities that ensure success in graduate studies. With the publication of these essays, we hope to provide current undergraduates with examples of successful (and not so successful) application experiences. It is important to note that there is no “right” way to experience the application process, and that the best source of guidance is always a current or former faculty member in your area of interest. We wish all applicants the best of luck in relaying their own unique stories.